One question always bothered me: How to build very strong relationships? Recently, I found the answer to this question. The story goes like this:
In October 2016, I ran my first ultra marathon(80kms). While running that run, all good, bad, ugly memories flashed in my mind. I remembered each of my success and failure. I missed each and every true friend, their faces came in front of my eyes.
Since last year, after joining my dream corporate, I rarely contacted my friends. I always found an excuse for not doing so; I don’t have the time, I’m tired, I’ll call him/her tomorrow blah blah blah…
But that day, I eagerly wanted to talk to each one of them and thank them for the things that would haven’t been possible without them. I came a long way since last some years and that was possible only because of their presence.
While running the race, at around 60km mark, I wanted to give up. My right knee started hurting, my left foot was tired, got cramps on both of my calves. It became very hard to move. This is where the worst fear of giving up kicked into my mind. I was not able to figure out what I should do to finish that run.
The fire in my belly kept me going. I moved somehow. To avoid injury, I started walking. While walking, I got bored. One thing got me to another thing. I was walking alone into the wild under torturing sun. This became tougher. That time I got to know that I can run alone very far but I can’t walk alone.
One thing popped into my head. Why not I should call my friends and really let them know, how I feel about them. One by one, I called as many of them as I possibly could. I told them, why I love them? How they changed my life for good?
Basically, I genuinely thanked them.
Their reaction was mind refreshing and instantly made me smile. Talking to some of them made me so emotional that I cried too. They didn’t expect such a call from me but I felt very light after telling them what I genuinely feel about them.
and guess what immediately happened?
I felt so alive and happy that I slowly started running again. The outer conditions are still same even worse but my internal conditions changed for better.
While on the run, I’ve been through the emotions of anger, frustration, pain, fear, suffering, joy, happiness, love, hope, faith, pride, patience, courage; pretty much every emotion of life. You name it, I felt it.
It took me 13 hours and 6 minutes to finish the run, in that time I relived my last 8 years. After finishing it I was a different person. While thinking about the past I realized: my life was really very simple, it was me who made it complicated; by taking specific actions.
I was the one who has not contacted the friends. I was the one who made excuses. What I realized was quite an eye-opener for me.
Relationships are very simple. And one thing is for sure, simple is beautiful.
On that day I told myself:
How to Build Strong and Healthy Relationships?
To have a great relationship you just need to genuinely appreciate other person’s role in your life. Don’t take them for granted. Don’t contact them only in need. Tell them how they helped you and thank them for it. Tell them how much they mean to you!
I love this quote:
Don’t postpone this. If you feel something great about the other person, tell him/her right now. Don’t even think twice about it. I can bet you will feel differently. You will gonna love it.
The things that mattered most in our lives are very simple. Loving is simple, laughing is simple, telling truth is simple, caring is simple, genuine appreciation is simple. Relationships are simple.
But, why are we making a simple life difficult? Because we lack right attitude, we always miss the small things which matter the most. Have a right attitude towards life and be a reason for someone’s smile.
At last, I want to ask something….
How do you feel, if one of your friend whom you haven’t talked since a long time calls you and appreciate you? Isn’t your energy level goes up? Doesn’t you feel good about yourself instantly? If you’re having a bad day, isn’t this will brighten up your day?
If you feel this way, so does the others. This works win-win and your relationships will blossom.
Please share your experience, in comments below.